I often joke with friends about all of the things that weren’t on my 2020 bingo card. Let’s face it — most of us probably didn’t have any of this on our bingo cards. I mean, who could’ve predicted the things that have happened so far this year? And, I mean, we’re only at the beginning of July. But I’m going to try not to dwell on what might come next.
I can either laugh or cry and right now I choose the former and this unconventional mid-year (mostly non-bookish) update. So without further ado, I give you a big ol’ list of things I didn’t know about 2020 on January 1…
I didn’t know that:
- I’d have to buy a new TV that I’d only get to watch a few times before abandoning it and the rest of my apartment for months.
- I am terribly allergic to cedar pollen and would have a horrible allergic reaction while traveling for work.
- I would mourn the loss of another colleague in a far-too-public-for-my-liking manner.
- I’d become low-key obsessed with a documentary about cheerleading and watch it dozens of times.
- my future husband would marry another woman in a secret wedding. (Why, JJ, why?! Kidding. Mostly.)
- I’d watch 9 episodes of Love is Blind in 24 hours, talk about it with anyone who listened AND spend way too much time on Instagram looking for clues about who was still together.
- I was about to embark on the world’s worst group project.
- anxiety is a bitch and my brain can be an asshole. (I mean, I knew that, but I didn’t recognize the extent until I first read the words “global pandemic”. That was some next-level anxiety.)
- it’s imperative to have ample hand sanitizer, toilet paper, and disinfectant wipes on-hand at all times.
- my Bath & Body Works soap and hand sanitizer hoarding would actually come in handy. (Pun intended.)
- despite thinking of myself as a clean (and semi-germophobic) person, I clearly wasn’t washing my hands enough because they weren’t dry and cracked ALL THE TIME.
- I touch my face far too often.
- so much time and planning would go into something that used to be simple – like going grocery shopping or opening the mail.
- phrases like “social distancing” and “flatten the curve” and “out of an abundance of caution” would become part of my daily vocabulary.
- when I left Virginia for Pennsylvania mid-March, I’d wind up staying here for 3 1/2 months (and counting).
- sleeping in your childhood twin bed as a grown-ass adult isn’t THAT bad.
- the battery in your car will die if you don’t start it for three weeks.
- I’d build A LOT of jigsaw puzzles.
- I would come to simultaneously love and hate Zoom.
- I would not, in fact, read all day every day if given the opportunity.
- it’s very hard to concentrate on a book when the world is basically burning down around you.
- I would have no real use for the digital planner I bought. 😂😩😭 (I guess it does help count off the days since this all began, though. Currently: Day 118.)
- I would need a new hobby because my reading was so hopelessly broken.
- my new hobby would be sewing.
- I’d buy a sewing machine and mountains of fabric and spend hours sewing little gifts for friends (and myself).
- I actually don’t need Starbucks every day. Or even several times a week, for that matter.
- I’d have to add several authors whose books I really enjoyed to my DNR (do not read) list because of some Romancelandia nonsense.
- J.K. Rowling would basically turn out to be more Voldemort than Dumbledore.
- I would willingly watch golf. (Specifically, Tom Brady playing golf, which is so much worse somehow.)
- I would become OBSESSED with Animal Crossing Pocket Camp and spend way too much time (and money) on it. (Do you play? Add me: 47520006401!)
- haircuts are overrated. (Ok, they’re really not and I would love to have one right now, but at least I can rock a ponytail. Something I haven’t done in decades.)
- I don’t really need a monthly massage for my body to function. (But, I’d damn sure love one.)
- NASCAR would be doing more to advance anti-racist causes in a couple of weeks than the NFL did in years.
- I’d start actively supporting and watching NASCAR.
- I’d spend so much time thinking about the number of people who touch things I touch on a normal day.
- I would recoil in horror anytime someone coughed or sneezed near me.
- I’d spend too much time cataloging and over-analyzing my (perfectly normal) allergy symptoms and taking my temperature.
- my opinion of (some) people would change so drastically, so quickly. (And not for the better.)
- even an introvert like me craves human interaction — not through a screen — after so long.
- feeling like you’re screaming into the void day in and day out because people just do not listen would be so frustrating.
- a surprise from a friend can make your entire day (or week)!
- watching grown-ass men and women playing childhood games like ‘tag’ and ‘the floor is lava’ would be some of the best entertainment around.
- by July I literally wouldn’t be able to tell you the last time I hugged someone. I miss hugs. And I’m not even a hugger.
Can you relate to any of these?
What are some things about 2020 you never could’ve predicted for yourself?